HELP: Afraid I Won’t Fall In Love
Friday, December 18, 2009 14:42A common fear among people with disabilities is they are afraid they won’t fall in love. This often results in poor relationships choices, including putting up with abuse or other things that should not be tolerated in a relationship. So the question is… how do you help someone with a disability who is afraid they won’t fall in love. The answer to this question is quite complicated. Often as someone with a disability I get the answer “Well God always loves you” which to me it seems like people are using God as a cop out again to me. I feel like God does love us, but God also wants us to need other people – thats why God created two seperate genders.
I do not have a good answer on what to say that would help a person in this circumstance, even though I have been in this circumstance before, so I will open it up for discussion. What do you think you could say to help someone in these circumstances?
12Percent says:
January 28th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
Wow, thats a tough one. Being aspergers autistic I have always had a tough time connecting with other people. I can tell you what God has taught me. Its just me though, it may not be applicable for anyone else. I went through the phase for years saying I want to fall in love, i want to get married, I want her to look like this, I want her to like quantum physics, I want her to act like this, etc.. Then one day God opened my eyes. My desires we’re completely self-centered. “I” am the subject of all those above sentences. It was all about me, completely self-centered. Love and self centeredness are diametrically opposed. It’s like going to hell to buy an ice cream cone. Its not there, nor will it ever be there. So my search for a mate took a turn to ‘what can I do for her’, can I do something to fulfill her desires?, can I get into her interests? The focus of the questions changed and then it happend. God put a woman into my path, who had been sexually abused as a child. She obviously had trust issues with the male species and thought she was going to remain single. But she said I was a breath of fresh air becuase I was different then the average male. I was able to put my self-centeredness aside and fill a need in her life. And that is the start of love. When you put the individual before yourself.